Tuesday, 26 May 2015

Serious-ly

I was once told that I have been a serious little soul ever since I was born.

I know what's right. I know what's wrong.

And that is that.


Not me, but the face is about right


Serious indeed.

This pragmatic and too often cynical approach to life has got me so far, but lately, a few chinks of serious have fallen away and brilliant light has escaped Serious Nicole. No one has noticed, probably, but it's quietly alarming. I'm not entirely sure I want to close up those cracks in the name of being reasonable, but what if more of this light gets out?




Surely people will start to notice.

When I returned to Australia after 3 of the best of my weeks of my life, I found that the only job I wanted before I left was advertised. Serious Nicole wanted to apply. It was the right thing to do. It was the logical thing. I had a very good chance of getting it. Yet the closest I could bring myself to applying was emailing the HR department a few questions. The deadline closed and a few days later Serious Nicole had a little conniption while driving along the highway. I called my old boss and asked if he thought it was still worth applying. He did.

I left the Big Serious Career move in the car when I got home.

The possibilities of Western Australia have carved out a hole for more light to escape from my sensible ideas. I couldn't plug the light up by applying because, well, I have to admit, it felt too good denying the conventional.





Finally, tonight, I indulged in what I thought was beneath me.

I am serious. I don't watch crap movies, or listen to commercial pop, or read books like Twilight. Those things are Frivolous and Ridiculous and Not Worth My Time.

Except that I really really wanted to watch the Katy Perry Movie.

Well wouldn't you know it a whole heap of serious was blown wide open after that experience.

Turns out Katy Perry is actually very hard not to love. I even cried a little bit. Turns out pop music can be commercial but still freaking good. In honour of Sommer's piece on What Teenage Girls Like, I decided that I would embrace the feelings (!!! feelings !!!) and allow Teenage Dream to carry me around the living room. I even allowed myself to shamelessly enjoy her new album afterwards.



Fun is kinda fun, hey? Like, really fun if you just be ok with having fun that's not high brow fun.

Crazy.

Last but not least I got an email. It was from a person who up until recently, I shared many of my deep thoughts and feelings (!!!). Let us call him Deep Blue. The email was actually a copy of the one Deep Blue had received from a boy we had met on a trip more than 2 years ago. The kid had been our tour guide in the tea plantations of Srimongal in Bangladesh, and had finally written to Deep Blue's email. He was looking for support to go to university in Germany.

At first Serious Nicole was the one to form opinions. Scam, probably. Little upstart. Serious Nicole messaged Deep Blue wondering how many people were on the list, and that it was a long time in the making. I did reflect that he did indeed get excellent results though. Now Deep Blue is not called Deep Blue because he is really like Sunshine. His reply was to wonder if the boy really did get the results shown in the email.

And then, without warning, another chink fell away.

I investigated the links that Jamal had sent and found myself impressed by what he was doing. His little tour guide business had a Facebook page with lots of endorsements and happy tourists.  I couldn't believe I was wishing him luck and hoping to hear more from him.

Serious Nicole was nowhere to be seen.



So you now know the extent of my condition. I am becoming less serious.

If you would like to spend time with Serious Nicole, please hurry, she may not have much longer.







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