Tuesday, 26 May 2015


I was once told that I have been a serious little soul ever since I was born.

I know what's right. I know what's wrong.

And that is that.

Not me, but the face is about right

Serious indeed.

This pragmatic and too often cynical approach to life has got me so far, but lately, a few chinks of serious have fallen away and brilliant light has escaped Serious Nicole. No one has noticed, probably, but it's quietly alarming. I'm not entirely sure I want to close up those cracks in the name of being reasonable, but what if more of this light gets out?

Surely people will start to notice.

When I returned to Australia after 3 of the best of my weeks of my life, I found that the only job I wanted before I left was advertised. Serious Nicole wanted to apply. It was the right thing to do. It was the logical thing. I had a very good chance of getting it. Yet the closest I could bring myself to applying was emailing the HR department a few questions. The deadline closed and a few days later Serious Nicole had a little conniption while driving along the highway. I called my old boss and asked if he thought it was still worth applying. He did.

I left the Big Serious Career move in the car when I got home.

The possibilities of Western Australia have carved out a hole for more light to escape from my sensible ideas. I couldn't plug the light up by applying because, well, I have to admit, it felt too good denying the conventional.

Finally, tonight, I indulged in what I thought was beneath me.

I am serious. I don't watch crap movies, or listen to commercial pop, or read books like Twilight. Those things are Frivolous and Ridiculous and Not Worth My Time.

Except that I really really wanted to watch the Katy Perry Movie.

Well wouldn't you know it a whole heap of serious was blown wide open after that experience.

Turns out Katy Perry is actually very hard not to love. I even cried a little bit. Turns out pop music can be commercial but still freaking good. In honour of Sommer's piece on What Teenage Girls Like, I decided that I would embrace the feelings (!!! feelings !!!) and allow Teenage Dream to carry me around the living room. I even allowed myself to shamelessly enjoy her new album afterwards.

Fun is kinda fun, hey? Like, really fun if you just be ok with having fun that's not high brow fun.


Last but not least I got an email. It was from a person who up until recently, I shared many of my deep thoughts and feelings (!!!). Let us call him Deep Blue. The email was actually a copy of the one Deep Blue had received from a boy we had met on a trip more than 2 years ago. The kid had been our tour guide in the tea plantations of Srimongal in Bangladesh, and had finally written to Deep Blue's email. He was looking for support to go to university in Germany.

At first Serious Nicole was the one to form opinions. Scam, probably. Little upstart. Serious Nicole messaged Deep Blue wondering how many people were on the list, and that it was a long time in the making. I did reflect that he did indeed get excellent results though. Now Deep Blue is not called Deep Blue because he is really like Sunshine. His reply was to wonder if the boy really did get the results shown in the email.

And then, without warning, another chink fell away.

I investigated the links that Jamal had sent and found myself impressed by what he was doing. His little tour guide business had a Facebook page with lots of endorsements and happy tourists.  I couldn't believe I was wishing him luck and hoping to hear more from him.

Serious Nicole was nowhere to be seen.

So you now know the extent of my condition. I am becoming less serious.

If you would like to spend time with Serious Nicole, please hurry, she may not have much longer.

Saturday, 16 May 2015


You may know by now that I am studying sustainability. As a result of my readings, I am trying to incorporate more sustainable ways of living in to my everyday life. For your amusement/horror, I present a few new conundrums in my life that are gradually grinding down my ability to function and will eventually turn me in to a blubbering eco-mess. That or turn my life in to a meme.

Disclaimer: not actually my cat

I read a book last semester called "Time to Eat the Dog?" - it basically focussed on all the small decisions we make and how they affect the planet. The argument was that creating pet food, keeping small companions animals alive, was actually costing the planet more than they were worth. In other words, Elmo, my cat, should be eaten, then I should use his pelt for making slippers and finally, mulch the left overs and use them as fertiliser. I was Sad, capital S. I started feeding my cat less. He was SAD, all capitals.

My new found inability to go in to places like Freedom furniture without having an epic meltdown because my internal dialogue starts sounding something like this:

When greeted by sales assistant:
Do you KNOW how many carbon miles the rip off designer things in these stores are imbued with?!

When observing a teenager lusting over some object: Stop looking! You have too many things already!

While passing people at the check out: People shouldn't be allowed to buy so many things, it's killing the planet

When safely outside the store: Regal Almighty self congratulations for not having been tempted to buy anything.

Today I decided to do some washing, and thought I'd combine some woollen t-shirts with normal clothes to save having to do a separate wash later. I did however note that non-enzyme detergent should be used on wool. So I compared the two types of detergent I had, decided one had slightly more enzymes than the other but because it was Made in Australia, it actually was better for the planet, so I'd use that. However, being a liquid detergent, I had to set the machine going first so it would fill with water, thus enabling me to dilute the fancy-pants detergent. I set the washing machine going, went back to study. Two hours later my clothes were washed, but without detergent. For 5 angst ridden minutes I debated if they were clean. Decided they weren't. How to then justify using more water because I forgot the detergent? Ate some chocolate to stop my thoughts of self-flaggelation and then decided to do a quick gentle cycle, with the powder so I didn't forget, and made a deal with the fish god to take really short showers for the rest of the week.

I now have to go back to writing an essay on global waste on a MacBook Pro that I just found out you can't recycle.


(F... My Sustainable Life)